Where Frustration and Faith meet.......

I'd love to report that our Home Study is complete, but alas, we're still waiting. The last few days have been very discouraging and frustrating. Our social worker has been dragging her feet a bit. Based on our converstion yesterday, I think she honestly believes that *W* would be better off left in Thailand! This is so unbelievable to me! Our social worker is unsaved, so much of how we live as a family is foreign to her. We speak freely and openly of God and His direction and guidance in our lives, and she just doesn't get it. She truely believes that I am incapable of contributing anything to our family and that Chris is forced to do everything. She keeps asking how he (meaning Chris) is going to handle everything. She keeps suggesting that this is too much for him. He forgot some papers that he was going to fax to her yesterday. So, she took that opportunity to go into a whole discussion about how Chris forgetting the papwers is a sign that we should reconsider. She insisted that families do quit during or after the home study. HE JUST FORGOT THE PAPERS!!! He left them on the counter in the kitchen. Sorry, this is my vent session. I believe that God is going to show Himself strong in this process. I also believe that Donna must see Christ in us, so I've been quiet and not said much. We just calmly restate our intentions to adopt *W* and try to move on as quickly as possible. Keep in mind that we are paying for this process. Fortunately, the home study is guided by laws and therefor she can't really say anything in the study itself. It's not guided by her opinions. I just wonder who she thinks has raised these boys, taught them to read, and takes care of them when their dad is working. I never want to take anything away from Chris. He is a wonderful husband and father. God could not have done better than Chris, when He chose my husband. However, I do contribute to our marriage and parenting. I think I'm resenting her attitude towards me, and I'm really praying for God to help me through that. He is my avenger. We are believing that our social worker will walk away from our after placement visits with a smile. She will see God's hand and the miracle that our little *W* is at peace and very content. Hopefully, my next post will be that our home study has been approved!

Infinity and beyond!

How long does an international adoption take? Well, it seems like FOREVER, and we've only just begun! Our Home Study is finished in the sense that Chris and I have done everything we are responsible to do. We are now waiting for our social worker to submit a rough draft to WACAP for their approval. The adoption process seems to be filled with a lot of hurry up and wait. We are using this time to get prepared for her to arrive. We are having fun picking out little girl stuff. So far, we have found a castle bed, princess sheets, princess comforter, and lots of other pink stuff! Even the boys are getting into the spirit of it (despite the fact that they dislike all things pink).

I've struggled a bit during this Home Study process. Our social worker seems to have a very hard time understanding how I function day to day. She doesn't appear to have much experience with the visually impaired. So, naturally, she assumes that I am completely helpless and contribute nothing whatsoever to raising the boys, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and the list goes on. So, imagining that I do absolutely nothing, she can't understand whywe want to adopt a child. Yet alone, a child with a disability. First of all, let me say that I never want to discount or take away from anything that Chris does. He has a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. He gladly helps me around the house and never utters a word of complaint. He goes above and beyond any other husband I know. He is a wonderful father who spends tons of time with the boys. They adore their dad, and he really enjoys them. I do however, struggle with her perception of me. I'm tempted to go on a rant and list all my accomplishments and abilities, but I'm really not responsible for any of it. God is. His grace is sufficient for me in all situations. So, we've spokend truthfully to our social worker, and we're believing God to take care of the rest. God has called us to this adoption, and He'll make the way clear. We're praying that as we share our story, others will come to know Christ. That's our ultimate goal, and we are blessed to be chosen for this special job.